Why she gets the guys.

You see her all the time. The girl with the mediocre looks. There is nothing overtly special about her appearance yet you and anyone else in the room is drawn to her. You ask yourself ” Why her? Why do all the guys swoon over her when I am just as acceptable?.” 

As much as she may look just the same as the girl you wouldnt think twice about when passing on the street, this woman has an edge because she is CONFIDENT.

Confidence is almost just as important as looks now-a-days. I like to think attractiveness is not only physical. I base attractiveness 25% on looks, 25% confidence and 50% personality.

So GIRLS! Be confident! Who will love you if you cant even love yourself. As a plus-sized, attractive, young adult I noticed a DRASTIC increase in the amount of guys giving me attention the second I stopped acting as holly helper to my drunken friends and having fun of my own. 

So whats the secret to sexy? Confidence. Simple as that.

I hate Twitter

so if you cant tell, i hate twitter.
so dont expect anymore tweets. i found it pretty useless.

The one that got away.

The one that got away.

I have never told anyone this entire story. This means a lot to me, so if you read it, let me know. I need someones support more than ever. anyone.

I always see people posting pictures with quotes about people, love, heartbreak etc..

And while reading those quotes I always wonder who it is the poster is thinking about in that image.

This is why, for my reader sake, I’m going to talk about the one that got away.

Adam was an older man. I met him at work and had never really talked to him. As our summer jobs came to an end Adam threw a giant end of summer party for all the staff. After several drinks you could assume I was more than drunk. Long story short I woke up the next morning in the arms of a 25 year old guy who I barley knew the first name of. Little did I know Adam would soon become a huge part of my life.

I was 17 at the time and had only ever slept with one other guy. The only thing different than this time and loosing my virginity was the fact we didn’t use protection. I look older than my age so I give him the benefit of the doubt, he must have assumed I was on birth control. I know it was a bad decision but everyone makes mistakes, right? 

Adam, was a gentlemen about the situation and took me to the pharmacy to get the morning after pill and then drove me home. He hugged me goodbye and told me to call him if I needed anything. As his car drove away I assumed that would be the last time I would ever see Adam again.

2 days later Adam Facebook messages me and asks me on a date. Never having luck with guys my own age jumped at the chance to go out with an older guy. Of course I couldn’t tell my parents, he was 8.5 years older than me, no way would they approve. So on Friday I headed to “my best friends house”. Adam picked me up and we went back to his house to watch some movies. One thing led to another and we almost found ourselves in the same sitatuion as a few days ago. But I wanted to be mature and for once wasnt going to let my vajayjay make my relationship choices for me. We didnt do it, and surely enough he still asked me out again.

Jump ahead 7 months to February 2010 and me and Adam were better than ever. 

He has his own place and everyday was like my real life version of playing house like I did as a child. Some may say I dated adam fro the wong reasons. He had his own apartment, more money than any 18 year old guy I could date, a car and most of all he had 8 years of experience in bed. I wont deny I liked all of this about Adam but most importantly, Adam made me feel beautiful and loved. 

At the end of February Adam was taking me on a date night. This was the same night he first met my parents. He took me to a fancy restaurant where we talked about a big decision I was making. Which university to go to. He alwaysknew i’d go away to university but several  schools I was considering were within a managable distance. I told him Brock is my frst choice, an hour and a half away from out hometown. He obviously didnt want to impact my decision and didn’t arue it at all. 

As he pulled into my driveway he asked to talk. He told me that when I go away to university come september the relationship was done. Just like that he put an expiry date on his love. I resented adam for this and after crying all night I decided I had to end things now because knowing everyday was one day closer to breaking up would kill me. 

The hardest thing about ending things with Adam is that we both still loved eachother. I constantly ponder “what if he didnt say that?” or “why didnt he come after me when I left his car that night?” 

So its been 9 months since I broke up with Adam and here I am in my university dorm room thinking about him. I think about him everyday. Secretly I hope one day he will see this, but I know thats as likely as me getting the courage to show him this. and even that would be difficult as he alienated himself from me, moved from our town and has deleted me off any type of technological socializing utillity you can think of.

Adam is my one that got away. 

As much as I recognize it was me who broke up with him, and I was the one who drove him away; I still resent Adam for promising just a few weeks earlier on Valentines day, that he was going to be the one guy consistent in my life and not leave me like every other guy had. Then he left.

FRESHMEN 50!!!!

So the freshmen 15 is going to be an UNDERSTATEMENT if i keep up my eating habits. For example todays diet included

A bacon egg and cheese breakfast bagel and pineapple juice
half a bag of crispy minis
a slushy
a slice of pizza
salad
and cake.

Now that i've written it out it doesn't seem soooooooooooo bad. But the fact that i sit infront of a computer researching and typing all day and night doesn't help. So maybe just eating slightly healthier with less carbs and cake (despite how delicious the cafeteria cake is). But most importantly getting active. Im on a budget and am not a huge fan of cardio but if you have an suggestions let me know. As of right now i walk to class everyday and occassionally do yoga in my room. I used to love hot yoga but theres no place near my university that offers it.

So if you have any suggestions COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT.

AND FYI. this entire post was written while eating chocolate cake.
willpower courtney, willpower.

Sincerely
Your Fat Friend

Say hi to your fat friend for me.

and the website i mentioned is www.skinnyvscurvy.com

Do birds have fat friends tooo?

That was my attempt at a clever title for this post.

but good news for all you die-hard readers and commenters!! ( well maybe my future readers and commenters, because as of right now i have 2 comments)

anyways, just like all your skinny friends, Your Fat Friend now has Twitter and is tweeting up a storm. So if any of you have twitter feel free to follow me! I like to think my tweets are pretty funny so let me know what you think!

BTW- yourfatfriend was already taken on twitter so you'll have to pardon my username being thefatfriend. either way i think people will get the point!

So now you guys can be with me all day long!! :)

Sincerely, Your Fat Friend

Im filling you in on a little secret...

This is exciting!! My first videooo! Let me know what you think of my new venture and how you like video blogs instead of my crappy writing!

COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT!
and tell your friends because i only know of 2 people who actually read and follow my blog hahah!

YOU Give me Hope.

I came across a very inspiring website the other day

www.givesmehope.org

Basically the website publishes stories that are very uplifting and reminds us how much impact a small act of kindness can have.

I challenge you readers to look at the website and then commit yourself to doing one small selfless act per day. It can be as easy as hugging a friend or family for no reason or smiling at a stranger passing you on the street. Because you never know what an impact that little gesture will make!

A post from Gives Me Hope:
Five years ago, I witnessed an overweight girl being harassed. A group of "popular girls" had pulled down her pants while we were leaving school. The girl grabbed her pants and ran away crying. Our school's star quarterback chased after her to comfort her. 

I just came back from their wedding. GMH.






Today, our history teacher was telling us about a man who was famous for transporting Jews to safety during the Holocaust.

A student in the class said "That's my grandfather." 

Our teacher began to cry, and said "He saved my entire family." 

Beautiful coincidences GMH

UPDATE on Dave

So about 2 weeks ago I blogged about my date with Dave. Well in case you were wondering he didn't call and he deleted me off MSN. Ohh well. Its his loss right?

Well if dave reads this he can S my D (if you know what i mean)!

The Fat Family Member.

So on sunday I went to a baptism.

I'm not really religous, but I thought I should go to support my cousin- and it included a free dinner and bottle of wine.

Anyways, this led me to thinking about what its like to be the fat girl in the family.

Many of my relatives have been blessed with the skinny genes, eating double the amount I did at the five star restaurant but still fitting into their size 4 pants.

As usual I got the typical comments "you look nice hun" or "you and your mom have identical faces" hinting at the fact she is a size 7 and I'm not.

Now when we extend my family out a little more then we hit the Megaload. Women who actually make me feel skinny. Many of my great aunts (despite having a mother that to this day has never been larger than a size 8) are quite large. Every time I see them they comment on how I look thinner or something thats improved about me. And thank god they do. Without those ladies I don't know when someone would ever make me feel like I'm getting better looking and not getting bigger than I already am.

Lastly, theres Nana, my 85 year old Great Grandmother. She is french canadian, so naturally she's never been the nicest women in the world. Sometimes her brutal honesty can be a positive quality, just not if you're her fat Great Granddaughter.

I like that she's forgetful. It means I get a birthday card with 50 dollars every six months because she cant remember if my birthday is in January or July.

I like that she cooks the most delicious food.

I hate that she comments on how much of that food I eat.

Constantly she comments about how maybe I shouldn't eat too many carbs, or that I'm looking bigger since last time.

I still don't really know what point I am trying to make. I guess I just wanted to give some skinny readers some insight about their family, and so next time the fat family member pays you a visit, don't hide all the junk food. I find it insulting.

And even if I have gained weight, you can guarantee I have already analyzed the exact part of my body that has gotten bigger. Then ate a pint of ice cream in despair.

Sincerely,
The Fat Friend

You gotta slay a couple of dragons before you get to the princess- or prince?

Dave was a nice guy, don't get me wrong, i just don't know if there were any sparks. 

First off his idea of a date was going to the movies, and I had already told him I don't like movie dates because how are you supposed to get to know someone by sitting in silence for 2 hours. But the 10 minute drive there and back wasn't too awkward, we talked but not really of much substance.

We will see what happens, its almost been 24 hours and he hasn't texted me. Isn't there some three day rule?

Ohh well we will see. 

If he texted me, I'd be up for a second date, just so I could get to know him before writing him off. 

and how often does The Fat Friend get to go on dates anyways?

I'm not heartbroken, for once I'm being level headed.

And as for the weight issue of mine, he definitely shouldn't have a problem with it considering the little weight issue he has of his own that he neglected to tell me.

So like the name of this post, dave may just be another dragon slayed on my warrior princess quest to find prince charming. 

If you have any other questions, feel free to ask.

Talk to you soon, 

The Fat Friend

Acceptance Advocate

Today, while procrastinating studying for my midterm worth 30% of my grade I came across a fellow blogger. I was intrigued by here determination and her powerful voice supporting self acceptance, no matter what size you are. Some of the self-portraits she has taken of herself are stunning. It motivated me to write today because i too strive for self acceptance, even though it seems pretty difficult to come across.

I envy Lisa for putting herself out there and taking beautiful and tasteful pictures of her imperfect body. I wish  had the courage to do that myself. Maybe it will come with time and as I begin to move out of my teenage thought patterns I will begin to understand that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

Lisa, thank you for your blog as I can see it is an inspiration to hundereds of women. And good luck with your public speaking, I'm sure you'll do great!

Sincerely,
Your Fat Friend.

Ps. Here is the link to Lisa's Blog, take a look and tell me what you think?
 http://claimyourbeauty.wordpress.com/

Even Your Fat Friend needs a best friend.

So it has not even been three hours and this is my third post, I guess you could say I really like this blogging thing. Its kind of like therapy.

Great, now you're all going to think I'm crazy. To be honest, I think we're all a little crazy. Whether its boy crazy or maybe you should get yourself checked out kind of crazy, each and everyone of us is not the norm, thats what makes us interesting.

ANYWHO, this post isn't supposed to be about how crazy I am. It is supposed to be about the one thing Your Fat Friend cant live without, and no I do not mean a vibrator.

Every Fat Friend needs a good best friend. Someone who is there for you and sees beyond your inability to share clothes (something i envy about all my size 4 friends). A real best friend is able to read a blog you wrote full of feeling and stories they have never been told, and instead of getting mad or talking you out of your crazy antics, they let you know that if this is what you need to do to feel sane, go for it.

My best friend is not fat. she probably carries the same amount of fat on her entire body as I have on one thigh. But I love her, and she loves me. Without each other, we would be lost. Who else would come over at 8 am to me balling my eyes out about making some dumb drunk decisions, and who else would help every one of her boyfriends plan a surprise for her.

Whether we know everything about each other or not, we care. Nothing she could tell me would change how I feel about her. Our friendship may seem crazy to you, but were all a little crazy sometimes.

Thanks Best friend,
Your Fat Friend.

A Date! For Me?

So its been a whole 2 minutes since I published my first blog post but I thought this is definitely worth mentioning and needed its own post!

So I, Your Fat Friend, have a date.

His name is Dave, and as much as I don't like to admit it i met him online. Sounds pretty sketchy, but he goes to my university and I have seen him in the halls a couple of times.

So you're probably thinking "whats the big deal? shouldn't she be happy, The Fat Friend got a date?" Well he asked me out via text message on monday ( actually he bet me, if the leafs lost I had to go on a date with him- they had been doing well with a 4-0 record so I thought why not? ). Then we were having our usual evening chat on MSN and some how we got into joking around about an arm wrestle. I told him I could hold my own and he replied HE COULD BENCH PRESS MY WEIGHT.

So maybe in retrospect I should have put up a full body photo. But what do you expect, I didn't want guys running away! When he then guessed my weight his estimate was 120. SIXTY POUNDS OFF!

Well there was no time like then to clear up his misconception. I let  him know I'm not skinny. I didn't use the term fat to scare him off, but let him know I was interested in becoming a plus size model hoping he would get the hint. He asked for more pictures and then said "you look fine" well fine is a heck of a lot different then what i was hoping for, LETS BANG! Haha. He assured me its not all about looks, but since that night I have been freaking out.

Will my weight really be a deal breaker for him?

There are plenty of big and beautiful girls like Sara Ramirez and Chloe Marshall that have men swooning over them.

Well tomorrow will be the big night and I will update the blog as soon as I can to let you all (this is me assuming someone might actually read this) know how it went.

Finally its me needing the support!
I think I'm going to like this.

Talk to you soon,
Your Fat Friend

Welcome Friends

So heres the deal, this isn't going to be some fancy blog. This is my life and you have now become a part of it. Think of me as your friend, Your Fat Friend. Im the girl who is there for you when the guy of your dreams breaks your heart or when you need help getting a date with the hot girl from work. Yes thats me, always the brides maid never the bride.

I have been told countless times how good a friend I am and how I give such good advice. well if I'm the love guru why am I always the single one? Well I'm fat. I don't mean fat in a derogatory way, more like as a description. I am not ugly, I have a beautiful face, just not the ideal body to match. I dreamed of being a plus sized model (I'm 180 pounds 5'8) but where should I even begin? Even then I still wouldn't be like the normal models. I'd be the skinny models best friend because I make them look good.

Sometimes I feel like thats the only reason my girlfriends keep me around. They look 20 pounds thinner standing next to me. Not that I don't love my girls, but for once it would be nice to be the girl guys look at!

Anyways, I'm still unsure of exactly what this blog will be about. All I do know is that it has been on my bucket list for quite some time! So send me your questions and comments and I will reply. I'm a bit of a dating expert, only cause I've helped about 60 girlfriends through it. So ask away, I'm sure i could help in some way.

I wont get into my super dramatic crazy desperate-housewives-like life and childhood, Im sure we will get to know each other shortly anyways.

Thats what I'm here for.
Sincerely,

Your Fat Friend